Musings

This Little Light

Ugh, this parenting shit is hard. And no one tells you this, but it can be boring AF. Library storytime, running errands, the Children’s Museum, park playdates……those are all GREAT things, but after awhile even they become mundane. And they don’t last all day either. That means that the majority of the time as a SAHM can be isolating and super lonely. Not to mention the fact that it feels like your brain has become mush. In a former life, I was helping people with estate planning or helping them to receive Disability benefits. These days I’m watching The Incredibles ad nauseam, and can go a whole day without talking to an adult that isn’t my spouse or a cashier at the grocery shop. There is no paycheck for this job, no validation, no raises, no praise from colleagues or bosses, and no one tells you you’re doing a good job (besides other moms, who are in the same boat and know how vital encouragement is). It can be really demoralizing and depressing.

Am I out of my element? Fuck yes. Complaints? Also yes. Gratitude for this opportunity to stay at home and raise my child? ABSOLUTELY. I managed (we BOTH managed) to survive the infant years, and I’m relieved that that phase is over. The Little is a toddler now, and although it’s still scary, it’s also a lot more fun…..but much harder, in different ways. This phase, too, shall pass, and, God willing, she’ll grow up into an angsty teenager who thinks I’m lame but borrows my records. I hope I’m around to see that.

Until then, it’s Coraline, The Incredibles, and Hilda. Rinse and repeat.